My friend Liberty Rebekah's cancer keeps getting worse and worse. Her husband has posted this past weekend that treatment is not working:



He just posted this upcoming AUCTION INFO. A link to non-auction apayal donations is in the My Chemical Romance blog link below.

I don't want Libby and Lou to hurt any more.

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Gerard from MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE and Lynz and Jimmy Urine from MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE have both donated one of a kind drawings and super rare autographed CD's, to help Libby get the things she needs for our house to be more accessible for her in her wheelchair and to help with medical bills. Please check out the auction and let all your friends know.

You can get the link to the auction on www. mychemicalromance. com or at the MSI myspace page. Please send them love and thanks for doing such an awesome thing.


Also mine and libby's best friend Jay is putting on a benefit show in Memory of our really good friend John Sarnik who passed away this passed year while libby was in the hospital. All the proceeds are being donated to libby to help with bills and supplies for the house for her chair. I'll list the info below.



Sunday January 25th @
MAXIMUM CAPACITY
116 School St.
Chicopee, Ma

I AM DISASTER (reunion)
THE KOST (reunion)
BOY'S CLUB
CREEPIN CADAVERS
US AGAINST THE ARCHERS
YUCKY OCTOPUS

Tickets are $10 in advance or $12 at the door
The show is 18+

If you need tickets let me know on this myspace or mine F@#k THE POLICE

Thanks to everyone who kept Libby in your thoughts. The surgery went OK, from what I gather. Her husband, the amazing Lou, posted regularly under her name so that we'd know.

I wound up NOT going to the hospital; she couldn't really stay awake, and I know that if she knew I'd driven seventy miles each way, she'd force herself. I'll wait until she's feeling better and just go to the house. (then I can play with her doggies, too!)

Other than spending way too much time on OKCupid, it wasn't a bad week/weekend. I was on my way to massage last week, via the post office, when I heard my name called from a nail shop. Zeffna (Jennifer) and I have been sistas since 1983 or maybe even earlier. We've known each other at our absolute worst. Our best, too... and I still remember her hot pink bikini. (I wouldn't have dared wear it. We had a mutual friend who, well, to put it kindly, didn't pull it off as well as Jennifer.) She and I lose touch, and then it's like nothing's changed. Maybe this time we can be in touch for more than a year, especially since she's lost 180 lb! (She's gotten rid of the guy she'd married. I hope.)

Speaking of losing touch and then nothing's changed: Lianna and I had a four hour phone phone marathon last week. She and I got into a fight in 1998 or so. We've obviously cooled down; one of us got in touch with the other around 2005? but it didn't last. NOW we're Pams again! (She and I were groupie sidekicks. My mom was THRILLED when Jerry Springer canceled our appearance an hour before our flight, because we weren't slutty enough! We were the Potential Pamelas, in honor of Pamela des Barres.)

Lianna and Jen were entirely different parts of my life, but it's so easy to go back to either one at the drop of a hat/the ring of a phone. I guess it's because I was so comfortable with both of them since the beginning.

AND speaking of losing touch etc.: Rich has four days left in Iraq! Other than passing his house, I haven't seen him since the night he hung out with me at Merit (maybe 1987?) and while we were talking, his friends stole three cartons of cigarettes. (I don't think he knew. It came out of my paycheck; everything was inventoried.) It will be great to see him.

The church book sale was Saturday. I took the wheeled luggage, filled with books that my mom and I have been adding all month, and put it into the basket in back of the tricycle. It really held down my average speed! I only got five books for this month - but Roots is pretty heavy. Riding back was much easier. I detoured down Savin, since the trees are pretty (and there's this black house on top of a hill... it would be a bitch to plow in winter, but right now it looks spooky and ideal) to the beach. In total, I did 7.27 miles - my longest [of a whopping three] rides this summer. My butt is still sore. I may go out again after work and errands if it's not raining yet.

I am still feeling pretty lazy, but I need to start boxing (and cataloging) my books by subject. (Pre-history and Holocaust, mostly) I DID wash and bag slacks to give away last week, and laundered a bag of women's clothes that will never fit me again (including my absolutely biggest jeans) to put into the box behind Trader Joe's when I go today. I need to wash all my BME shirts next, and see who wears XL and XXL. I don't really want most of them anymore, and they're taking up a lot of room. Otherwise, they'll just get thrown out. (No, I'm not taking names yet)

I'm gonna go read.

So yesterday, I went to finally meet my month's salary insurance deductible have another epidural for the advanced degeneration in my lower discs.

I really hate the ride. Ten minutes on the highway - cake - and the next seven miles on a main/secondary road which keeps changing, and so does the speed limit (which I'm trying to obey in more than my own town, since I'm trying to make my own town a better place). It's annoying that the facility is way out to hell and gone but (1) the north haven facility doesn't take my insurance (although the dr does) - over $2000 extra and (2) MyRide doesn't go up there, so I drove myself and I forewent the anesthesia again. 

Even so, it's just super uncomfortable, not miserable. I went in around 2:35. Blood pressure, go into the procedure room, "drop 'em", put in my headphones to try to relax, get swabbed. Doc comes in, pats me on the shoulder. I hear, "Pinch and burn."  OH YEAH it burns.  Then, "Pressure, pressure..." and I could feel the pressure down my left leg and in my belly. Needle out, no bleeding so no bandage. Lie still for a few minutes until I can bend my stiff leg. Roll over, get up. Show tattoos to the tech. give her Kenny Cuccaro's name. Go to Recovery, sit for a few minutes, then hear my alarm to remind me to take my 3:00 Lyrica. Ask for crackers and water, since I've been fasting since 8:40 (next time, per Doc, I can have lunch) a.m. As soon as I get my BP results (120/80 post-procedure), I go back into the sweltering heat - my car hasn't even had time to start boiling.

The tech told me that Panera was across the street! It's a big deal to those of us who have to travel five miles to the closest (to the damn mall and I hate the mall). I got a coffee (don't care that it was hot - I had finished my first and only cup at 7:30 a.m.!!) and an orange scone (because I love orange scones) and drove home. 

At least, with the annoying drive, I had time to contemplate: It was 100F in Wallingford. I can't believe that the Yankee Silversmith closed! I'm glad I have air conditioning in my car, and I really felt bad for the older people I saw driving with hot air blowing in their faces. I wished I could ride my tricycle on some of this road. I can't believe Walgreen's is torn down (though I think they may be rebuilding). I can't get over a restaurant, boarded up, catercorner from the train station. AND how it's not fair that gasoline prices are skyrocketing just as we need to use our car air conditioners. (If I didn't have after-work errands today, my leg be damned I would have taken the trike to work. It's only a little numb now. I can't take it tomorrow - we have a deposition scheduled, and I don't think that it would look professional for the Plaintiff's attorney's secretary to have a tricycle chained to the stairs...)

Ice on for fifteen, off for fifteen. My mom made me a salad for dinner - it was really good. And that should have been it.

Until I checked my MySpace messages. And saw Alli's Friend Status: Worried

Damn it ALL: Libby's cancer is back. Again.

When I'm in charge of the world, nice people won't get cancer, only evil people. And by the off chance nice people get cancer, it won't keep recurring.

With the exception of meeting her husband, Libby can't catch a flippin' break. It's just NOT FAIR and I don't care that life isn't fair. She's everyone's best friend. (I treasure her like a sister, truly like a sister.) Her post last night was about 1/4 news of what's happening, 1/8 "please pray," 1/8 asking about alternative treatments, and the other HALF telling her friends how much she loves us.) I haven't seen her since she organized a benefit for the cancer center. (that time was just a trim... the gas cost more than the cut, but I figured that presences in front of the TV cameras was more important than just mailing a check for the amount of the cut)

She's asking for prayers - that she can get surgery. If you know her, or if you're the praying type, or both...

I am going to ask her if, while she waits for surgery, an epidural like mine might be a source of temporary relief. Because they use X-Rays to assist in guiding the needle, it MIGHT be possible.

I'm calling her now. (Wish me luck getting through: the hosp. phone number was bulletined on Myspace; it's already busy.)