Before reading, please keep in mind: "Cristina" was the 437th most common name out of 4275, according to the United States Census Bureau. I could be talking about ANY Cristina, here.

I was friends with a woman named Cristina before she went ballistic. She then [in a HIPAA violation] contacted the biological sister with whom I have not spoken since the summer of 2001 (because she took the side of her husband, who stole from my parents' retirement money). *S*, the bio-sister, claims to be brilliant but she's stupid if she thinks that that conversation stayed private and that it didn't make its rounds in cyberspace!.

Unfortunately, I cannot drop this: Cristina has also contacted some of our two dozen or so mutual friends and, it seems, says that I threatened them/you. If you have heard from her, would you please let me know.

For the record:

I have never been required to go to therapy for a job, nor has my family ever required me to go to therapy. My insurance hasn't covered my therapists; I've paid out of pocket. THEREFORE despite what *S* has said:

• I don't lie to my therapists; what's the point if it's only for my treatment?
  
• If I don't like what a therapist says, I'll argue and either concede or dissent. I don't switch shrinks. (I *DID* switch about 18 months ago; I didn't like that the doctor said my pain is "dramatic." The most recent doctor believes that chronic pain is actually a big part of why I've got depression.)
  
• I do not "scare away" *S*'s friends; her husband has. Hell, the only one of our old mutual friends with whom I don't speak is one who shit-talked *S* (and I went to her defense like an idiot).
  
• Despite what she has blogged, she never had to suffer because my mom said that she had to give in to me. (it was the other way around; she was the good kid. However, I got over it.) She must worship Jan Brady.
  
• If I hear one more time that *S* doesn't have clinical depression, that she doesn't need serious treatment, that her problem is that she's psychic and picking up other people's bad vibes, I'll scream like I haven't screamed since I got into therapy.
  
• *S* has no business putting my dad's problems up for sympathy. She didn't visit him the last three times he was in the hospital. "Oh, I could run into Rebekah" (when I was in Los Angeles for three days of the month he was in post-illness care). "Oh, I'm sick and subject to MRSAs." (So am I, and so am I.) It's not a contest. She should be there, though, if *S*'s going to use him as an excuse. (She does that a lot. She skipped her homework one night, but then told half the school how she couldn't do it because I was dramatically ill. Yeah, I WAS dramatically ill, but she'd already skipped the homework and gone to bed. She's also quoted "Go Ask Alice" with me being the protagonist.)
  

This is why I chose JENNIFER to be my sister. She's blunt and sometimes crude, but she does not lie. Fuck sisterly DNA.

(our poor mom)

From blog

1. Accept the award by pasting the graphic on your blog along with the name of the person who granted the award and a link to his/her blog.
2. Pass the award to another 15 blogs that are worthy of acknowledgment, remembering to contact each so they know they have been selected.

1. Castlehom - my friend Shannon's dad - he's become my friend over the past few years
2. Cyberoutlaw's Hideout - his photography is superb, and his stories are creepy because they could be true. i HIGHLY recommend his noir collection Burning in the Heat, which I desperately need to review
3. Famous by proxy - Shannon's fiancee. She's crafty and cooky and kooky and funny and I like her
4. Lara - she will probably be posting more. She's one of my favorite people on the planet
5. Fallen Angel - the perfect example of biology not making a family. Politically, I disagree with half of what he says. Doesn't matter - he says it eloquently
6. Red Shoooes n Inky Fingers - full of crafty goodness! a lady I know from a modification group comprised of some good people and a few shitheads a lifestyle that's no longer part of my life but I love the crafts and we'll share ideas once I can figure out how to make my sewing machine stitches stay put
7. Scarybaldguy - another perfect example of biology not making a family. computer guru. dad. crazy cat man (as opposed to crazy cat lady). we have a movie snuggle date as soon as I can afford to move to Phoenix
8. Shannon Larratt is Zentastic - i'd known Shannon in a modification group comprised of some good people and a few shitheads a lifestyle that's no longer part of my life, but I'm glad he's still around
9. The First Church of Common Sense - she works with the downtrodden and describes the interoffice bullshit beautifully
10. Twelve 28 Tattoo - the blog of tattoo ARTIST Joy Rumore
11. WHaT WaS I THiNKiNG WHeN I SHuT MY MouTH? - OMG this is awesome. It's the archives of my friend Lianna's blog. I've known her since before I'd started stretching my earlobes. That's a long time. If you'd like to read the archives of a journalist who knows a bunch of psychotic people, this is it.

• PROTECT - the National Assoication to Protect Children
• Chris Rose - Times-Picayune - NOLA.com - he wrote 1 Dead in Attic: After Katrina
• The Consumerist
• Food Driven - forget the ice cream truck; this is a CUPCAKE truck in New Haven and someday I'll read the blog with enough time to get to the day's location!
• Geoff Fox - when he publishes his photography, you'll forget that he's our local meteorologist
• White House.gov Blog Feed - I love that we live in such progressive times. The White House is almost as cool as my mom, blog-wise.

1. Zen and Chocolate - I wait for her email, saying that she's updated.
2. Cosmic’s Corner
3. fmd - my darling Quin, who is the mother of our son Taylor, the recipient of (why the hell would he want when he's on a Naval ship in the middle of nowhere) Ramen soup
4. The Purple Chai
5. Airy Persiflage

I hope that everyone else's kids called :)

my mom was probably pretty happy... my brother drove down and mowed her lawn, dropped off a new shower head that he'll install next visit (my dad was in the shower when my brother arrived) and then he had to go. but she saw him. i got her the gardening gloves she requested, plus i brought her fair trade white chocolate and a book from the church book sale yesterday. besides that, i also took her to the supermarket - in other words, the stuff i do all year without a hallmark holiday (well, the gloves were a one-shot deal).

my friend amy, with whom i've been friends forever, called this morning to go for breakfast. i love hanging out with her! and wish we'd had more time.

after breakfast, i went over to the park across from my house, to clean the jungle gym with the graffiti remover so recently donated. (my friend donna had offered to replace it if the people whose cars were vandalized had needed it! thank you so much, sweetie! but one of the neighbors has a power wash and cleaned all the cars.)  the jungle gym had, surprisingly, been recently cleaned. i got off the most recent filth. two neighborhood kids came out to keep me company, and walked with me to the trash can, and picked up litter with me. their mom and dad have taught them well :) - who'm i to undermine that!

got an interesting message among the OKCupid messages. alas, a girl younger than three of my kids has a crush on him. creepy.

i phoned liz, the awesome mom who rented to my boys when they were old enough for their own apartments. she saw sid last week and i'd be jealous if i weren't going to see sworn enemy tomorrow night. (that's my kid on bass!!!) had to wish her a happy mother's day; i'd honestly say that she's the best thing that ever happened to the kids, present company included.

close to ready to go tomorrow. with the fibromyalgia, i don't really drive much anymore, between my hands, and my skin hurting if i sit too long. but i've got the gps, i can stop at the rest stop in stamford (which is only 25 miles from the venue). i've got my green velvet Doc Martens, clean black jeans, and a clean WM3 shirt. (i, however, have not gotten my government massage stimulus check, though the IRS says it was to be deposited by last friday...) the only thing left is to get the junk out of my back seat (why leave a target in the parking lot).

now... i'm off to sleep. in my car.  why? you may ask. well, our trash has "mysteriously" been ripped apart every week. only ours, and not the neighbors, so i'm doubting it's turkeys or feral cats. besides, last week, the bag ripped apart was one with papers, not table scraps. i'm thinking that it's someone (ahemjunkieahem) on whom i'd needed to call the police last year... if i catch her, i'm pressing charges.

i'm in this house almost every day, and it's almost always the same... unless my brother comes by. with him, he brings a light to my parents.

yesterday, his wife once again gave up another sunday with her husband, and my brother drove a few hours each way to put together a new table and chair for my father and to install a wifi card on my mother's computer (my brother's birthday gift to my mom) - just in time for her six-year blogaversary.

more than that, though, he gave my parents the gift of his time.

i stayed out of the way, pretty much, because i like being the center of attention and this isn't about me.

my mother and i had done the grocery shopping early because i didn't want her to miss a minute with her boy.

my dad got to watch sunday football with Son, and it's the best thing that can happen to him; he was alert and he laughed, and for a little while it was easy for me to forget what a crochety old man he's become. (he even remembered to thank me when i brought him a small slice of pie!)

my brother generally gets here at least once or twice a month, and it's such a blessing to my parents.

we were supposed to get heavy snow here today; instead, we got a few flakes and some rain... along with the pain in my neck, my back, my shoulders, my right side feels as though it's been badly burned. my skin hurts. (i'm hoping to get in to see mona after work on thursday.) but i'm not nauseated, and i'm feeling good about the light that still hasn't faded from our home.

Currently reading : Girl Clown By Mary R. Wise Release date: 03 March, 2004

chrissy, the other crazy cat lady (along with me) who lives in the house behind ours -- but wait. if you don't live in a residential area, you may not get it.

i posted this map picture of my first trike route.

 

so... chrissy lives behind us. when i dropped off her son's book on saturday morning, she said, "why dontcha come over on christmas eve. i know it's not your holiday, but..." making sure i understood that she was inviting me to join her family and friends, and that she knows i'm not Christian. really, she had more to worry about, as far as she was concerned, with feeding me non-meat items.

i felt so... loved and welcomed. i told her, obviously, that coffee and someone to talk to would be fine. and that i'd love to come.

come christmas eve, as i'm heading down to my car (it was much too muddy and icy from the snow to do as we do during the summer, and just cut through our shared back yards), Pin (warning = adult page = beware when clicking), my oldest son, called to wish me a happy holiday! oh, i kvelled... he's never had my number (that's between him and Pops) so he's never phoned me before. and no, he wasn't calling for money; he works three jobs. he's got a new dog and he's happy and healthy and busy, and that's all a mother can ask for. he likes nice things, and knows that no one's gonna hand them to him, so he's working for them. this is a kid who'll never tell me to blow off work to come down and hang out, let me tell you. (neither would his brothers... though his Pops has been guilty of that one.) i know he gets this from seeing other people make messes of their lives, but i'd like to think a little of me got through to him.

as we ... well, we got disconnected! and chrissy phoned to say that her granddaughter wanted to know if i was coming over. my key was in the ignition, so i left at that point and drove. (i'm so spoiled... we used to walk up and down our block on christmas eve when we were kids. heck, we walked all over town - miles - in colder weather, weather so cold the boom box batteries would freeze and play "45s sound[ing] like 33s!")

dre', the wonderful mechanic/neighbor, and his lady friend and their daughter had given us a candle for the holiday, which we can't light because of my dad's oxygen. i brought that with me, for everyone to enjoy; i also got chrissy's granddaughter a rubber duckie with "tattoos" and a "pierced ear." i was seated between the other two smokers, next to the window.

i got stuffed on broccoli and cheese, and tortellini. i wish i'd left room for dessert!

more important than the food was the conversation. i heard about chrissy's kids (including her granddaughter's father) terrorizing the babysitters, some of whom are still close to the family and were there. the stories actually made chrissy's husband dizzy with remembrance!

her son B came over from break from work; he barely had time to eat two plates of food and rush back out. poor guy - no sarcasm.

later, her other son, J, came over - he's the one whose screenplay i'm transcribing. he's a doll. everyone wanted his attention, so i quietly left the room with chrissy to work on her computer for her for a bit, to give him some breathing room.

when we came out, i talked to J while chrissy "fixed a plate" for my mom. the four foil carry-out containers nearly tore the bag! (the anginettes are gone... the chocolate chip cookies are nearly gone... and the tortellini and broccoli are going down...)

there were small gifts but, more importantly, a house full of love and family and stories and, i hope, everyone else i care about was as lucky as i was.

last sunday, after the apple festival, my mom was looking for me out the window as i brought in the trike.

"go online. you need to see the email i forwarded from your uncle steve."

note that uncle steve is my favorite uncle, and probably my favorite relative of genetics after my parents and brother.

mom looked excited.

"did [my cousin, uncle steve's daughter] amanda get married."

"no."

"did [my cousin, uncle steve's son] mike get married?"

"no"

"did uncle steve get married?"

"no." and she filled my arms with laundry.

halfway up the stairs, i paused.

"is uncle steve gay?"

"NO."

i got upstairs and booted up my laptop. he [the laptop] is wireless so it takes a bit longer for him to connect. my mom was so excited that she tried to get me to come to her computer - it's a lovely computer, but dialup makes me nuts. (she had the email open on her desktop after she logged off, but i couldn't be bothered.)

and i read.

i read uncle steve telling my mom and her sister about a lovely young woman, a bit older than i, who's a science teacher in connecticut, who grew up in the area. and as i read, i found out that she is a daughter he never knew existed.

i have a cousin!!

i emailed her immediately, and got back an answer just as quickly. she's wonderful, even though she's more mainstream than i. she's totally worth giving up the status of First Grandchild.

i have told her what i remember about my - our - grandparents. (Grandpa died when i was eight; Grandma died when i was in my late teens.) Judy - that's her - and i have things in common which may be genetic and which may not be, and i don't care because i have a cousin that i like. a lot. i've sent her family photos and, with permission, gave her the passwords to my brother's private web site and to his wedding photos; Judy found pictures of her dad that she didn't have before, and which my brother will, without doubt, get for her.

she reads, she writes. she's got an awesome husband and wonderful kids.

because i got my bipolar crap from the other side of the family, she isn't "blessed" with that genetic curse, at least...

she's more like someone who spent years with our family than another relative who did spend years with the family, and i told her.

my mom, after Uncle Steve, is the big winner in this. my mom gave nieces and a [perfect] nephew but didn't get any in return for a decade and a half when we gained mike and amanda. now, she finds out she's had a niece all this time - and that she's wonderful. (again, though, note that she's far more mainstream than i am!)

if i met Judy socially, i'd adopt her as a sister as i've adopted my friends to become my family of choice. she's that good. genes? who knows... but she's ours.